Along Jun Hui Lu - Me and the Beggar

Theres this fuzzy ol bloke that waits outside the shop shaking his tin bowl at you when you walk past. I dont know why but its taken me ages to figure out that hes the same bloke thats there every single day, and that I try to avoid him drop a pathetic penny in here and there, until one fine evening, a shanghai friend and I were looking at dvds and he comes up to us. On this particular day I was having peace and calm state withdrawels, and felt his bugging very sensitively. So I went off at him and told him to go and harass my friend, he copied the same intonnation in his voice, as I, and I really ripped into him and said to Karen well if hes got enough gall to take the piss out of me then he cant be that needy. I went home and struggled with my behaviour and felt like Id let myself and the L down as well as this I didnt like to display such behaviour in front of fellow humans. I thought it wasnt a good conduction of positive spirit. So I gave it long processed thoughts and apologised to G and then made a decision to give this guy more than I was ever gonna give on a good day. Anyway the guy gave me a great smile and now I make an allowance when I go shopping: enough money for the beggar/s enough for our food. I am happy I have arrived at this place of thought as I have struggled with beggars since we have arrived here due to the struggle between giving to genuine sincere people who do not demand or be rude, and not allowing mothers to manipulate me by throwing their innocent children in front of me. Saying to Sime on repeated occasions if I was ever a beggar I would be a respectful one and never demand etc, but having said that and giving that thought other lots of thought, I have realised when one is in need they do become pushy panicky and needy so who am I to say in my fine cottoned clothing to express my opinions on a reality that I know nothing about. However I must say I did find it quite funny how he had enough gutz to mock me. It seemed quite obvious that even beggars must not like losing face!!